Well, I'll go to the foot of my stairs...

Often startled, frequently amused, sometimes scared; rarely speechless. Can be found at witchywoo22@yahoo.co.uk

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Witchy-Woo's Wednesday Wow this week...

...is a two parter. The first part comes from Putting the "Fist" in "Pacifist" and is such a wonderful expression of the anger and frustration that we've all felt at one time or another - a huge "grrrrrrrr" that's quite funny to read because we can identify with the feelings that caused it.

The second part, from The Primary Contradiction, asks us how we would deal with rather more essential affronts to our dignity or way of being - could you kill or maim?
She could have chosen to walk away from this egregious violation and process it with caring loved ones later. Instead, she chose to slake her rage with violence.

For those of us who face the psychic assault of oppression, this is a choice that most of [us] will face at some point in our lives.
And haven't 'most of us' been there at some point - so raging we're ripe for violence? But most of us either submit or take our violent impulse out on ourselves/innocent others at a later time.

As little girls, we're taught that anger is 'bad' and we shouldn't feel it let alone express it. So we keep it all in until we explode like Kimberly Arnold did. Like all the women on the Justice for Women books did. Like countless women the world over do, in one socially unacceptable way or another.

Because 'society' has this expectation that the oppressed - and women in particular, no matter which other oppressed group they may also represent - will just accept our place and take it. Our anger is somehow invisible. It doesn't count. It doesn't have the same importance that the anger of, say, your average hooligan has in the great scheme of things. But it's there. I'd hazzard a guess that, if you're reading this blog, you're angry - because I'm angry. That's partly why I write this thing!

My impulse, when I'm yelled at in the street, felt up in a crowd, intimidated, belittled or threatened by the assumed power of the Great God Penis or in any way made to feel 'less than' is to say "fuck off and die" - and I really mean it. Question is, could I do it? I don't actually want to go around killing people but I can understand how those who have reached the limits of their endurance of their oppression can just snap.

I can identify with that but, so far, I'm able to choose.

On a housekeeping note: I've updated the blogroll. There are so many fab blogs out there, it's hard to keep up.

5 Comments:

  • At 1:25 AM, Blogger Z said…

    There have been times when I really could have acted on it. But I've always had the tiniest tiniest thread of sanity left... and realise prison is not where I want to be.

    Well if it weren't for my daughter I can honestly say I believe I would have killed my father years ago. I am not in that place anymore though. Perhaps having a child does that to you. If I were single a couple of years ago I might very well have killed him and then killed myself. Sometimes in the past (during my darkest times) I even wished I hadn't had my daughter so young so I still had time to kill my father. Yeah. That's hard to admit. But it's what I wished.

    It would have felt good to kill him, too. Justice.

    Sometimes I want to beat somebody into the ground when they disrespect me for no reason. If I would not go to prison, perhaps I *would* do that at times.

    I guess I am a rage-filled person. I wouldn't kill anybody now, but if I could get away with it I certainly might beat them to a pulp. To exert power. To make THEM feel small instead of me feeling small all the time.

    To make them know what it's like.

    Nobody knows what it is like, unless they have been there. And most people don't give a shit. They might have some inkling of what it *must* be like... and they don't actually care.

    If they were in the position I have been in however - they would care. They certainly would. Most people are selfish.

    Sorry. Even writing this got me angry.

    !!

    Take good care Witchy,

    Z

     
  • At 5:01 AM, Blogger witchy-woo said…

    Z - ((hugs))

     
  • At 12:42 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    I have a temper. It is slow to build and I can usually keep it under control but I also know I am capable of violence.

    I've been on the edge of a place where I know if I lashed out I just wouldn't stop. It's scary.

    More than the physical violence I struggle with the mental violence I find myself directing at people. I have wished people dead and meant it. I have wished people harm and sickness. I have done the "fuck off and die" thing and I'm not proud.

    ((hug)) Witchy.

     
  • At 10:57 PM, Blogger Z said…

    ((((( Witchy )))))

    Thanks you for hugs :):)

    Sarah - I don't think any decent person is proud of these feelings -- and we really deserve to be free of them.

    How do people get out feelings of extreme rage without resorting to violence of any kind? Is it even possible?

    It's something I've been wondering about for years and years. Punching a boxing bag might help take the 'edge off' for a short while, but it in no way gets rid of the rage.

    Something to think about, anyhow.

    Take good care you two!

    Z

     
  • At 2:35 AM, Blogger Y. Carrington said…

    Hey Witchy-Woo,

    Thanks for your article, and for linking me on your roll. You know, I actually worried that I came across as making excuses for Sista Arnold, but most people have been supportive. I've felt similar rage like hers more than once in my life, so I hear what y'all are saying.

    Thanks for your support!

    Best, Yolanda

     

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